Post by KuroKuro on Sept 7, 2008 21:24:17 GMT
MED: Welcome to the Heart of the CERN, where soon your NOVAppreciation Society is going to have its collective brains bombarded by Large Hadrons in the hope that we can learn the secrets of the universe. Until then, there's always wrestling. Not quite the same, is it?
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Nightmare vs. Deathcrush
DD: Two of the biggest men on the NOVA Roster go head to head for an epic battle of mythic proportions... yeah right. Deathcrush is already out inside the ring when Nightmare makes his way down to an applause only the man who discovers a cure for the common cold could achieve. The bell sounds and we're treated to Deathcrush extending his hand to Nightmare and requesting The Dark Knight join him in his quest to tear down society. Seems a little like the first film doesn't it? Anyway, Nightmare rejects Deathcrush's offer by putting Deathcrush down with a big boot. Hell of a way to say "no".
Nightmare picks up Deathcrush and whips him into the ropes and decapitates him with a lariat. If I didn't know better, I'd say this was a squash in Nightmare's favour. A Vision of Pain makes Deathcrush see things a little more clearly and The Dark Knight grants Deathcrush a vision of what he truly wants to see, as The Cataclysm puts Deathcrush away for the three count. Post match, Nightmare gets on the mic and warns Jay Bain that Supremacy is only three weeks away and he's better get used to the idea of The Dark Knight stalking NOVA as it's Television Champion. Scary stuff from the monster that is Nightmare.
Winner: Nightmare via pinfall.
Richard Rose vs. TrembleKing Yori
DD: Before we start, M comes out and makes an announcement. Apparently, if Richard Rose defeats TrembleKing Yori, then Yori is no longer eligable to compete for the NOVA Trans-Atlantic Championship. H-City gang have friends in high places it would seem. Yori is out first and doesn't look happy with that stipulation. Rose follows, accompanied by Ruby and the two mock Yori something rotten before we get underway. Yori is in no mood for Rose's fun and games and immediately strikes Rose with a left hook that plants the Arizonian straight down. Yori's attempts to follow up however are denied and Richard Rose takes back the advantage after countering a whip from Yori and hitting the Psycho Crusher. Ruby cheers on her man as Rose continues his assault.
Break time as Rose slides outside and plants a kiss on his woman's face for no good reason at all, other than to break from the above paragraph ¬_¬ Yori spies Rose's lack in concentration and nails him in the face with a baseball slide. Yori and Rose battle their way around ringside for a bit, and then into the crowd. Why aren't they getting counted out? One word: Sonatine. Rose and Yori battle in the crowd for a while until Rose gets an advantage by hitting Yori in the chest with a folded up chair and then proceeding to drop Yori head first onto an opened one.
Back in the ring and Rose tries to lock Yori in the Stigmata but can't quite get it locked all the way in and Yori powerbombs Rose. Two count only and the TrembleKing questions the referee's count. This gives Rose the chance to sneak up on Yori and a schoolboy with feet on the ropes proves to be Yori's downfall.
Rose laughs about how he cost Yori the title twice now as he and Ruby exit the arena. Yori stands in the centre of the ring looking very pissed off. M comes down to ringside and spouts something about wanting the best from his champions and Yori does not deserve to be competing for it. Apparently we're having a match tomorrow night to decide the new number one contender for Supremacy. Yori takes exception to this and lays M out with a fist to the jaw. This ain't gonna go down well with management I tells ya.
Winner: Richard Rose via pinfall.
Tag Team Match: Jay Bain & Shaun Wilson Vs. Dragon Slayer & hide Kitazawa[/u]
CP: Dargon fucking Sayer. That's right, everyone's favourite neckless little tart. He's in this match, as is hide Kitazawa, who I know nothing about apart from the fact that he's missing a rib, which Dare assures me is so he can suck his own dick. They're taking on the rather shaky team of Wilson and Bain, the former of which spent a long time last week trying to crack the latter's head open.
So, should be a good match.
Anyway, it all kicked off with Sayer and Wilson, the two of them tentatively eyeing each other up, before Wilson slams his fist into Sayer's jaw, sending the big fleshbag sprawling into the corner for Kitazawa to make the blind tag.
The interesting thing about Kitazawa is that his eyes are enormous, certainly far bigger than his fellow countrymen. In fact, they look for all the world like a Japanese guy had drawn overexaggerated european sized eyes on his face. That and the fact he can suck his own cock. Wilson's pretty interesting as well, but the dude can't orally pleasure himself, so he will receive no more column inches from me. So, he's not getting any inches from anyone, not even himself.
I'm starting to think I've gone slightly off track here.
Oh yeah, the match; Basically, Wilson and Kitazawa demonstrated some picture perfect wrestling, just like all that Puro stuff that Mark E likes, ending with Kitazawa very narrowly missing his signature lightning high kick, before connecting with three spectacular elbow strikes, shouting about something I remember vaguely from GCSE maths. That sent Wilson for a loop, Kitazawa connecting with some lightning fast kicks that Wilson did well to stay concious during, hide quickly ramping up the intensity and getting ready for the KO, Wilson very luckily ducking out the way of a shot and slapping a kick into Kitazawa's chest. The guy's not stupid though, and he got the fuck out the way and tagged Bain in quick sharp. Jay was obviously ready for a big old hittin' match though, and he raised his dukes like a proper fighting northerner should do when somebody's insulted his whippet or tried to pull his pile of gravel or build a bypass through his farm or something. Point being, he was ready to punch shit in the face.
Oh, and he did punch shit in the face. Kitazawa, mainly. Jay was really making a mess out of him, to be honest, until Dargon stumbled out of the corner like a brain damaged bear and managed to club the champ round the back of the noggin. I don't think it really hurt Jay, but it distracted him for long enough for hide to floor him with a punch to the gut, then tag Dargon in, who looked ready to do some fuckin' business. Trouble is, where Sayer comes from it seems that the only business that gets done is getting punched right in the fucking face. Again. Jay, in fact, punched him in the face several times until he he hit the mat, his nose sticking out the back of his head. Worryingly, though, he'd stopped moving. Well, worrying for him. I wasn't all that arsed, I'll be honest. Anyway, Sonatine came over and looked at him, grinned like the freak he is and then rang the bell, giving Bain the win by KO.
Which pissed hide of royally. Obviously not happy about being beaten (or at least not winning) at his own game, lunged across the ring and Dragon punched Bain's face right into the sixteenth row, before walking grumpily into the back, leaving Wilson to watch the EMT's drag Sayer's sorry carcass to the back. I heard rumors that they just threw him in the open grave that J dumped Renner in round the back of the garage the other week, but I can only hope that they're true.
Falls Count Anywhere: Triple J vs. Jonathon Quinn
MED: M comes out to introduce this match personally; and in calm, measured tones delivers Juh-Juh-Jay the message that like Yori before him, if he doesn't win this match, then bad things are going to happen. Does M not pay attention? Bad things have been happening with this guy at the centre for years. He's the eye of a Storm of Shit. What kind of nimrod even gives him a job? It boggles the mind. Watching this, there is the sense that maybe M is looking for an excuse to not book his main champion. Whether these "Bad Things" involve his title being stripped, or handed over to Quinn, or whatever isn't quite made clear. Maybe he'll just not appear on the PPV, and get his pay docked, I just don't know.
Either way, all speculation is rendered moot pretty early on. One of the side effects of the Falls Count Anywhere stipulation is that Sanderson Reed isn't going to Disqualify 3J even if he heads up the aisle and belts Quinn in the face with his shovel on his way down to the ring; and when I say this, you know I'm not being hypothetical. Both Brandi and Richard Rose find this utterly hilarious, and do a little dance while screaming abuse at Quinn; even if the group's two killjoys are too busy playing cards on the edge of the still-vacant ring. It seems to be an intense mental effort for both of them, and Ruby looks so cute when she's deep in thought. I can't saying I was paying much attention to anything else while this was going on, but I was [understandably] vexed when Quinn was finally thrown into the ring, disrupting the game. The Devil's Sidekick gets a punch to the kidneys and a slap to the face for his troubles, and still Sanderson Reed can't disqualify H-City, because it's FCA. Billy and the 7th Love of Dan Dare's Life get back to the cards, while the J's stop to devour each other's faces; apparently expecting someone else to beat up Quinn while they do it. Big mistake, that.
PLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANCHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH follows when Quinn has got his shit together, and Jay is squished. Luckily for him, Ruby got her hand out of the way, thus avoiding having the wrath of Walker, Rose and Dare visited upon his head. As it is, the rest of H-City seem confident enough in Juh-Juh-Jay's abilities, even if he is getting his rather hard head stamped on. Well, the heels have made a tactical error, and now it's the turn of the face. Quinn wants the fight in the ring, to make better battlefield for his main strategy of throwing himself at the big lump. It's a good strategy, just not a good idea to shove Ruby Grey out of the way as he does so. Laying hands on Rose's Woman? Almost as unforgivable as disrupting one of Billy Walker's card games. Now the Bad Things are happening to Quinn, and while he valiantly fights it, it's only the fact that Rose and Walker decide to let 3J - being the one that's actually booked in this match - dish out the beating.
There are still flashes of hope for Quinn, now getting to the point where his only real options are to throw himself at the champion, as fast as he can. However, unlike us, he doesn't have a Particle Accelerator to help him, so relativistic speeds are beyond him, and relativistic speeds are the only thing that could save him now. There are flashes, like a sloppy knee to the face which is almost the 666 which is good for a near fall but not much more. First he gets Chokeslammed out of the ring, and then he gets a proper Chokeslam Backbreaker, substituting the corner of the Apron for the knee, and that's going to hurt like fuck in the morning, which Quinn's going to have to wait for, because he's going to be on a morphine drip from now till then. He out, and it is OVER, and M looks like he just ate a bunch of nettles.
Winner: Triple J, by Pinfall.
CP: So, what happened this week, you ask? Well...
The neckless wonder got his face broke. Rose demonstrated his continuing inability to pin somebody without using the ropes. Triple J clobbered shit again. LOL@DEATHCRUSH. But anyway, tune the fuck in next week for Nightmare's first flying lesson, Shaun Wilson hitch hiking from Alberquerque to Abergavenny, and hide Kitazawa gets a job as a dog walker. Or, you know, more wrestling.
Bon nuit, Fuckheads!
-Love,
Dan "The Vomit Comet" Dare, Mark "Soon to be relocating" E. Dangerously, Chris "I hate my job" Pain.
=======================
NOVA Fusion
07.09.08
The Pyramid
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NOVA Fusion
07.09.08
The Pyramid
=======================
[/center]Nightmare vs. Deathcrush
DD: Two of the biggest men on the NOVA Roster go head to head for an epic battle of mythic proportions... yeah right. Deathcrush is already out inside the ring when Nightmare makes his way down to an applause only the man who discovers a cure for the common cold could achieve. The bell sounds and we're treated to Deathcrush extending his hand to Nightmare and requesting The Dark Knight join him in his quest to tear down society. Seems a little like the first film doesn't it? Anyway, Nightmare rejects Deathcrush's offer by putting Deathcrush down with a big boot. Hell of a way to say "no".
Nightmare picks up Deathcrush and whips him into the ropes and decapitates him with a lariat. If I didn't know better, I'd say this was a squash in Nightmare's favour. A Vision of Pain makes Deathcrush see things a little more clearly and The Dark Knight grants Deathcrush a vision of what he truly wants to see, as The Cataclysm puts Deathcrush away for the three count. Post match, Nightmare gets on the mic and warns Jay Bain that Supremacy is only three weeks away and he's better get used to the idea of The Dark Knight stalking NOVA as it's Television Champion. Scary stuff from the monster that is Nightmare.
Winner: Nightmare via pinfall.
Richard Rose vs. TrembleKing Yori
DD: Before we start, M comes out and makes an announcement. Apparently, if Richard Rose defeats TrembleKing Yori, then Yori is no longer eligable to compete for the NOVA Trans-Atlantic Championship. H-City gang have friends in high places it would seem. Yori is out first and doesn't look happy with that stipulation. Rose follows, accompanied by Ruby and the two mock Yori something rotten before we get underway. Yori is in no mood for Rose's fun and games and immediately strikes Rose with a left hook that plants the Arizonian straight down. Yori's attempts to follow up however are denied and Richard Rose takes back the advantage after countering a whip from Yori and hitting the Psycho Crusher. Ruby cheers on her man as Rose continues his assault.
Break time as Rose slides outside and plants a kiss on his woman's face for no good reason at all, other than to break from the above paragraph ¬_¬ Yori spies Rose's lack in concentration and nails him in the face with a baseball slide. Yori and Rose battle their way around ringside for a bit, and then into the crowd. Why aren't they getting counted out? One word: Sonatine. Rose and Yori battle in the crowd for a while until Rose gets an advantage by hitting Yori in the chest with a folded up chair and then proceeding to drop Yori head first onto an opened one.
Back in the ring and Rose tries to lock Yori in the Stigmata but can't quite get it locked all the way in and Yori powerbombs Rose. Two count only and the TrembleKing questions the referee's count. This gives Rose the chance to sneak up on Yori and a schoolboy with feet on the ropes proves to be Yori's downfall.
Rose laughs about how he cost Yori the title twice now as he and Ruby exit the arena. Yori stands in the centre of the ring looking very pissed off. M comes down to ringside and spouts something about wanting the best from his champions and Yori does not deserve to be competing for it. Apparently we're having a match tomorrow night to decide the new number one contender for Supremacy. Yori takes exception to this and lays M out with a fist to the jaw. This ain't gonna go down well with management I tells ya.
Winner: Richard Rose via pinfall.
Tag Team Match: Jay Bain & Shaun Wilson Vs. Dragon Slayer & hide Kitazawa[/u]
CP: Dargon fucking Sayer. That's right, everyone's favourite neckless little tart. He's in this match, as is hide Kitazawa, who I know nothing about apart from the fact that he's missing a rib, which Dare assures me is so he can suck his own dick. They're taking on the rather shaky team of Wilson and Bain, the former of which spent a long time last week trying to crack the latter's head open.
So, should be a good match.
Anyway, it all kicked off with Sayer and Wilson, the two of them tentatively eyeing each other up, before Wilson slams his fist into Sayer's jaw, sending the big fleshbag sprawling into the corner for Kitazawa to make the blind tag.
The interesting thing about Kitazawa is that his eyes are enormous, certainly far bigger than his fellow countrymen. In fact, they look for all the world like a Japanese guy had drawn overexaggerated european sized eyes on his face. That and the fact he can suck his own cock. Wilson's pretty interesting as well, but the dude can't orally pleasure himself, so he will receive no more column inches from me. So, he's not getting any inches from anyone, not even himself.
I'm starting to think I've gone slightly off track here.
Oh yeah, the match; Basically, Wilson and Kitazawa demonstrated some picture perfect wrestling, just like all that Puro stuff that Mark E likes, ending with Kitazawa very narrowly missing his signature lightning high kick, before connecting with three spectacular elbow strikes, shouting about something I remember vaguely from GCSE maths. That sent Wilson for a loop, Kitazawa connecting with some lightning fast kicks that Wilson did well to stay concious during, hide quickly ramping up the intensity and getting ready for the KO, Wilson very luckily ducking out the way of a shot and slapping a kick into Kitazawa's chest. The guy's not stupid though, and he got the fuck out the way and tagged Bain in quick sharp. Jay was obviously ready for a big old hittin' match though, and he raised his dukes like a proper fighting northerner should do when somebody's insulted his whippet or tried to pull his pile of gravel or build a bypass through his farm or something. Point being, he was ready to punch shit in the face.
Oh, and he did punch shit in the face. Kitazawa, mainly. Jay was really making a mess out of him, to be honest, until Dargon stumbled out of the corner like a brain damaged bear and managed to club the champ round the back of the noggin. I don't think it really hurt Jay, but it distracted him for long enough for hide to floor him with a punch to the gut, then tag Dargon in, who looked ready to do some fuckin' business. Trouble is, where Sayer comes from it seems that the only business that gets done is getting punched right in the fucking face. Again. Jay, in fact, punched him in the face several times until he he hit the mat, his nose sticking out the back of his head. Worryingly, though, he'd stopped moving. Well, worrying for him. I wasn't all that arsed, I'll be honest. Anyway, Sonatine came over and looked at him, grinned like the freak he is and then rang the bell, giving Bain the win by KO.
Which pissed hide of royally. Obviously not happy about being beaten (or at least not winning) at his own game, lunged across the ring and Dragon punched Bain's face right into the sixteenth row, before walking grumpily into the back, leaving Wilson to watch the EMT's drag Sayer's sorry carcass to the back. I heard rumors that they just threw him in the open grave that J dumped Renner in round the back of the garage the other week, but I can only hope that they're true.
Falls Count Anywhere: Triple J vs. Jonathon Quinn
MED: M comes out to introduce this match personally; and in calm, measured tones delivers Juh-Juh-Jay the message that like Yori before him, if he doesn't win this match, then bad things are going to happen. Does M not pay attention? Bad things have been happening with this guy at the centre for years. He's the eye of a Storm of Shit. What kind of nimrod even gives him a job? It boggles the mind. Watching this, there is the sense that maybe M is looking for an excuse to not book his main champion. Whether these "Bad Things" involve his title being stripped, or handed over to Quinn, or whatever isn't quite made clear. Maybe he'll just not appear on the PPV, and get his pay docked, I just don't know.
Either way, all speculation is rendered moot pretty early on. One of the side effects of the Falls Count Anywhere stipulation is that Sanderson Reed isn't going to Disqualify 3J even if he heads up the aisle and belts Quinn in the face with his shovel on his way down to the ring; and when I say this, you know I'm not being hypothetical. Both Brandi and Richard Rose find this utterly hilarious, and do a little dance while screaming abuse at Quinn; even if the group's two killjoys are too busy playing cards on the edge of the still-vacant ring. It seems to be an intense mental effort for both of them, and Ruby looks so cute when she's deep in thought. I can't saying I was paying much attention to anything else while this was going on, but I was [understandably] vexed when Quinn was finally thrown into the ring, disrupting the game. The Devil's Sidekick gets a punch to the kidneys and a slap to the face for his troubles, and still Sanderson Reed can't disqualify H-City, because it's FCA. Billy and the 7th Love of Dan Dare's Life get back to the cards, while the J's stop to devour each other's faces; apparently expecting someone else to beat up Quinn while they do it. Big mistake, that.
PLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANCHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH follows when Quinn has got his shit together, and Jay is squished. Luckily for him, Ruby got her hand out of the way, thus avoiding having the wrath of Walker, Rose and Dare visited upon his head. As it is, the rest of H-City seem confident enough in Juh-Juh-Jay's abilities, even if he is getting his rather hard head stamped on. Well, the heels have made a tactical error, and now it's the turn of the face. Quinn wants the fight in the ring, to make better battlefield for his main strategy of throwing himself at the big lump. It's a good strategy, just not a good idea to shove Ruby Grey out of the way as he does so. Laying hands on Rose's Woman? Almost as unforgivable as disrupting one of Billy Walker's card games. Now the Bad Things are happening to Quinn, and while he valiantly fights it, it's only the fact that Rose and Walker decide to let 3J - being the one that's actually booked in this match - dish out the beating.
There are still flashes of hope for Quinn, now getting to the point where his only real options are to throw himself at the champion, as fast as he can. However, unlike us, he doesn't have a Particle Accelerator to help him, so relativistic speeds are beyond him, and relativistic speeds are the only thing that could save him now. There are flashes, like a sloppy knee to the face which is almost the 666 which is good for a near fall but not much more. First he gets Chokeslammed out of the ring, and then he gets a proper Chokeslam Backbreaker, substituting the corner of the Apron for the knee, and that's going to hurt like fuck in the morning, which Quinn's going to have to wait for, because he's going to be on a morphine drip from now till then. He out, and it is OVER, and M looks like he just ate a bunch of nettles.
Winner: Triple J, by Pinfall.
CP: So, what happened this week, you ask? Well...
The neckless wonder got his face broke. Rose demonstrated his continuing inability to pin somebody without using the ropes. Triple J clobbered shit again. LOL@DEATHCRUSH. But anyway, tune the fuck in next week for Nightmare's first flying lesson, Shaun Wilson hitch hiking from Alberquerque to Abergavenny, and hide Kitazawa gets a job as a dog walker. Or, you know, more wrestling.
Bon nuit, Fuckheads!
-Love,
Dan "The Vomit Comet" Dare, Mark "Soon to be relocating" E. Dangerously, Chris "I hate my job" Pain.